Yes, the rumors are all true. Control, (that would be me, or at rather my nom-de-plume), is now offering wedding offbeat officiant services, and I might even be able to help you get hitched in some obscure locations around NYC. And hey, I do photography as well (or can bring in other awesome photogs if needed - since operating a camera while delivering a service would be kinda hard)
Of-fucking-course I'm serious - though getting married should absolutely not be 'serious'. In the words of the infamous '60s philospher Alan Watts, "Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun."
In the spring of 2014, the United States Supreme Court ruled that corporations - having already been ruled to be 'people' - have religious rights and can deny their employees certain (if not all) forms of health care. As a rather agnostic person, this sent a clear message: Everyone needs a religion to hide behind in the court of law. As a stop gap measure before maybe starting some wacky religion of my own, I decided to become an actual ordained minister and become licensed by the City of New York to officiate weddings. I mean fuck it right? You only live once.
ULC's Motto: "Do only that which is right."
"If you want to marry a shoe, I'll marry you" - Jimmy MacMillianIn other words, if you are in love, I will happily perform your ceremony. NYC law though restricts me from marrying you to anything other than another person, at least legally...
Get your crazy location cosplay on.You have the outfits, I have the locations.
Me and my partner want to 'elope' and get hitched at an obscure location - can you help?
Yes. In fact you're probably my ideal client!
Can you officate my wedding ceremony that we've booked at a normal event space?
Uhm, Religion? Something?
I can give you a very awesome non-denominational ceremony. If you are a very religious, I'm probably not who you are looking for. Though if you are agnostic, satanic, wiccan, etc - I might very well be the person you've been looking all over the fucking internet for. And hell, if I'm not, I can probably point you to others who would be a bit more your speed.
How much do you charge?
Not a whole lot - I want to say $250-$500 depending on what your unique needs are. Oh and legal fees if you insist on a spot that is really high risk, like the top of a bridge or something - though I'm thinking you probably don't want to do that since Rikers is so not a honeymoon destination. Besides, my lawyer is expensive. Photography is also a whole other ball of wax.
I want to get married in an active subway tunnel and invite 200 guests, can it be done?
What else? Contact me below!
I'm also a pretty awesome photographer. Maybe you don't want to get hitched, and just want some crazy ass couples photo shoot? Yeap. I can do that.
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